So here are more shocking revelations into Puck’s forgotten life. For the record, my own coffee addiction is not quite as bad. I drink about a litre of coffee before noon most days. (That’s close to a quart for you American types.) I only wish I had an illegal source of coffee. It would make the financial burden of my addiction a little lighter.

I don’t know why the newspapers would report on a minor theft of coffee by a fast food employee, but the concept of Puck having a tabloid moniker seemed funny and all the more embarrassing.