It’s come to my attention that certain readers have been nearly driven to the point of insanity by this interminable birthing story arc, and that fact amuses me to no end. Because nothing amuses me more than beating a dead horse long past its expiry date. Still, take heart, readers! The baby is out at long, long last!

And no, Robert, there will be no afterbirth joke. Instead you get an umbilical cord joke. Because I like to be derivative in new and fresh ways.

For those who will judge Colin harshly for his confusion surrounding the umbilical cord, let me say this: unless you’ve been through this, you don’t know jack about what an umbilical cord looks like, and whatever you think it looks like, you’re wrong. Hollywood will not help you on this either; they’re wrong too. One thing that is weird about a real umbilical cord is the colour: bluish, almost verging on turquoise. And cutting the thing is … unsettling. The nurse hands you tough, bulky scissors that look like they’re made for trimming tree branches, and even with such heavy-duty equipment on your side, it’s not an easy cut. The umbilical cord is decidedly … crunchy.

For those who are wondering, you actually see the baby (and find out the gender) next week. In strip 200. Just like I promised a million years ago.

2ND September Voting Incentive! PAPER DOLL PHOEBE GOES CLUBBING!!!

That’s right! Get into the Victorian hobby of paper dolls – Phoebe style! Dress up our comic’s resident clotheshorse however you see fit! This week we’ve got the clubbingest outfits Phoebe ever wore! Vote again soon to see the next one!

For each paper doll, you can download the printable file (see the text above the incentive image for more info), print it on glossy paper and get cutting!