I ran out of time, so here’s a rerun!


As for this comic…

On the topic of poor people malls…

We all know the poorest of poor people malls: the tiny ones full of downtrodden old people, where every store is a dollar store or shady import store or something like that. There are many creaky, old, poor people malls in my fine city of Hamilton.

But it was only a few years ago that I discovered that all the malls in Hamilton were actually poor people malls – even the ‘classy’ ones. Because I visited a real rich people mall: the West Mall in Toronto, city of shiny wealth. While strolling past Saks Fifth Avenue and other super high-end clothing stores, I stumbled across the food court. It was the most puzzling food court I’d ever seen: no New York Fries, no KFC. Instead there were just boutique fast casual joints selling upscale ‘fusion’ takes on various international cuisines.

The women around me were dressed like runway models. There were no seniors in sight. And it was then that I realized that this mall did not want me in it. I wasn’t welcome. (For the record, I only came for the Lego store.)

I can’t be sure, but I’m pretty sure there are even richer malls in downtown Toronto: ones made of gold, with valet parking and food court vendors with Michelin stars. I’d investigate, but I’m pretty sure their existence is revealed to you only on a need-to-know basis. And I’m not part of the club.