Travel to the land of blocks and straight edges with the whole Puck gang! All during October, a vote for Puck on TWC will get you some nice pics of these skins in action, AND the ability to download the skins for free to use in Minecraft (PC/Mac or PE)!
Vote for Puck on TWC to love the Creeper inside all of us!
As for this comic…
This is based soundly in reality. My wife and I were, for a long time, really too poor to buy much of anything, and we didn’t buy Kleenex. That was way too posh for us. Rather than newspaper, though, I used toilet paper to wipe my tender nose. And I still do. Because we learned to live without Kleenex, and even when the money was more plentiful, we never went back. We are barbarians.
For those who are interested, there’s an alternate version of this comic up on my Patreon feed right now featuring a totally different joke. The alternate version might be funnier. It might not. Seriously, I can’t really say. But it might be worth a look.
I used to blow my nose with no-name paper towels, which was much akin to using 20-grit sandpaper. I, for one, attribute the exorbitant cost of Kleenex to the very high level of original artwork they commission for their boxes.
They are rectangular works of art, they are.
Fun Fact:
Most Paper Products are based on the “Length of the Fiber”.
Long Fibers = Quality Paper = Strong Paper = Virgin Fibers = Paper Towels.
Short Fibers = Low Quality = Weak Paper = Recycled Fiber = Toilet Paper.
The purposes and uses are very different.
Paper Towels must stay together when wet.
Toilet & Kleenex Paper must disintegrate when wet.
On the other hand, I just do it in sand, cover it up with a swipe or two, and I’m done. Try it sometime.
What about when you have a runny nose?
I’m a bit sensitive about that…..
You lick it, don’t you?
yes
Ok, Baldie and Janet have been keeping me indoors lately, as I am still healing from last month’s most horrible and unprovoked attack from “something” (raccoon ? coyote ? dragon ? I dunno).
Anyways, they brought home some purchases from the local Dollar Tree store. (Dollar Tree stores crisscross the USA, and everything is a buck ! Many really good deals. Excellent Litter – Awful Cat Food).
Two of the things they bought were “The Home Store” brand of Toilet Paper and Paper Towels. Being housebound – and bored – I measured them.
TP – 4 Rolls – totaling 122.2 SF – 11.5 oz
PT – 1 Roll – 61.1 SF – 8.2 oz
As you can see, the short fibers in TP cost far less than the long fibers in PT. Not only by weight, but clearly by area as well. In fact, TWICE the Square Feet. And this is 2-Ply TP – the good stuff.
So wiping your snout with Paper Towels is far MORE costly than TP. And when you take into account the very large sheet size of a PT, compared to the rather small sheet size of TP, the waste and expense becomes even more clear.
Facial Tissues, on the other hand, are overpriced. And the reason is, as some have alluded to, the BOX. The pretty box is costly, both in material and color printing.
But the Facial Tissues themselves, as well as most Dinner Napkins, and Toilet Paper, are all cheap short fiber, and intended to easily disintegrate when wet.
You are welcome.
Up in Canada, Dollar Tree exists, but is the minor player compared to Dollarama, a Canadian juggernaut that rules the dollar store scene.
We have both Dollar Tree and Dollarama here in SoCal too… where you can buy anything for $2.49!
“where you can buy anything for $2.49!”
Say it ain’t so !
Say it ain’t so !
$1 !
I want to pay $1 !
Considering Puck’s recent physical/mental shift I am now wondering if her freckles are riding an unfriendly face and she’s getting some kind of “weird bitch” feedback?
Nah, they’re still hiding out somewhere in the house.
Please guide them back to her! I’m really not bonding with her current iteration….
What, are they in her closet? Did Phoebe give them to her dad because he couldn’t collect Puck’s soul?
As a faerie, Puck should be able to cast glamour, rather than bankrupting her family for it…. Slacker.
Puck is, if nothing else, one of the worst slackers the world has ever seen. So no surprise there.
Don’t you mean “The best”?
The bwerst, perhaps?
Do other faeries mock her inability with magic?
Is that why she left the Fey Realms in the West? 😉
I’m more of the opinion that it was a bad fairy debt that she defaulted on.
She probably can do magic. She’s just far too lazy, because magic is work.
And a glamour is work like you wouldn’t believe.
Why put in the work when you can watch glamorous people on TV with no effort?
If she could cast glamour on people other than herself and wasn’t incredibly lazy imagine how much money she would make as a plastic surgeon. Pain free boob jobs! And arrange a payment plan, if you don’t pay every month, then your boobs sag at the most inopportune times, or do a little dance, like say on a date with a rich guy.
This fantasy world is disturbing me.
Or maybe she had her powers taken away because she abused them too much, and that’s why she’s living as a mortal.
It is just a matter of perspective. To quote Obiwan, “You’re going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view.”
Is there a Psychological Term for people who just THINK they are Faeries ?
Or Witches ? Or Wizards ? Or Cats ?
(scratch that)
I think you’re looking for the word “hippies”
That’s IT !
I’m not buying the “Fairy” bit at all.
Mel, on the other hand, is the “Real Deal”.
How would you know, unless you’ve been to Hell?
Believe it or not, Mel and I were just there earlier scouting around for Puck’s Freckles.
He SO wants them back on her face.
Because if she continues on her present course, she’s shaping up to be real competition.
And considering the beating she gave him last time they tangled…. (shudder).
//www.puckcomics.com/?comic=puck-168
Didn’t she get a wad of cash from Daphne? She could be using that.
That was all spent…
Well, she got a wad of cash which she technically owed to Phoebe, but she owes a lot of money to Phoebe, so there’s no proof she ever paid up. This might be plausible.
Meanwhile, I’ve always used toilet paper to wipe my nose. Huh…
To be honest, I can’t really argue on her being blonde and as such, logic won’t bite. Seems to happen more often than I care to admit as of late…
I’m somewhat curious what Daphne and Phoebe will think of her new look (clothes included). It’ll be interesting to see.
The horror! THE HORROR!
Perhaps Puck’s freckles WERE her Faerie glamour …
Perhaps.
her transformation is starting to creep me out – she even has the ‘dismissively halfclosed eyelids’-stare down pat already. she´ll start waiting at howlers and/or voting the republicans soon, depending whether she takes more after tracee or heather…or both *shudder*
at this rate, satan will soon get an identity crisis cause he´s NOT the worst evil in town anymore!
Hey, what’s the point in halfhearted transformations? We’re going whole hog here!
I vote Republican straight ticket and the only time I go to Hooters is when somebody else is buying. Somebody I like. A lot. Who is going to owe me big time.
Reminds me of back in the day with my (ex)wife.
“The repo-man is here to take the car? He can’t do that!!! I have to get to the store for this cute top I saw yesterday!”
*she couldn’t get it ‘yesterday’ because she had to come home and take out another credit card online, since the other 14 cards were maxed.
(that’s not a joke, either)
It’s stories like this which make me appreciate my wife, who must be talked into making purchases. I regularly say things like “Yes, buy the shoes. Buy the shoes! You need shoes! Your old shoes fell apart! DAMN IT, BUY THE SHOES!!!” True story.
My wife and I are this – we both fairly regularly pass up things we’d like to buy, and have to talk each other into them. Having this sort of consensus purchasing process is pleasantly inexpensive and introduces a whole new layer of bonding in the relationship.
My wife is like this. I am not. I don’t spend indiscriminately, but I’ll buy what I want, within reason.
Your story makes me feel happier, Gecko…. o_o
It must also be noted that my wife makes more money than I do. Not by much, but by enough that she could totally use it to justify buying whatever she wanted.
Good Lord, man, why didn’t you dump her sooner?
WHAT !!!!
The good wife of ElectricGecko is the very essence of patience and beauty.
She has freckles galore – in all the best places.
I will not stand idly by when she is disparaged !!
(in interests of full disclosure, the nice lady does mail me a can of prime canadian tuna once in a while)
(In the interest of full disclosure, she doesn’t.)
(Sez U – check out the Pantry sometimes)
Anyhoo, I kind of figgered out BUGGLE was dissin’ someone else, not your sainted companion.
I may have the brain of a walnut, but Tuna TRUMP s all !
(and as an exceptional cook – when she has the time -she knows it)
I should think that half your brain is devoted to Tuna, and 3/4s of the other half is devoted to Tracee.
We were married for 4 whole years – 6 months of those ‘happily’.
I had to save money in secret to divorce her and, when she found out I had “spending money” she wanted it.
How long did you date her before you married her? It can’t have been long…
About a year and a half.
However, she pulled a ‘Corsican Brothers’ switch.
I don’t know if you’ve seen it, but two brothers meet these beautiful women and pursue them throughout the film (raising money, going fighting a bad guy, etc) in order to marry them.
At the end they marry them and, as soon as they say, “I do”, the women change into withered old hags who start nagging them.
So, the brothers run away and go off to war.
Well, I *have* to see it now – it sounds hilarious.
😀
It’s a Cheech and Chong movie, but it’s not a drugs related plot.
I hope they don’t call it quits.
Well, they won’t, because watching them suffer is too much fun.
Find out what name is on her credit cards—’cause *obviously* someone else is using them, even if that someone is still in the same body…
No, dear, you’re a pineapple head now lol seriously, candy hair looks like candy
Mm mm. Pineapple.
I’m partial to mangos myself.
I am a new reader of Puck,having found the comic a couple of weeks ago, and while I think Puck is great stuff, I do have a question about Miranda.
How come she is never happy to see her other parent? If Puck is holding her and Colin enters the room, she looks at him like he is Bad Dad, and if Colin is holding her and Puck comes in, she looks like “Oh god, not you again”? Just wondering.
That reason is just one word: Comedy! With Rule of Funny anything that’s amusing enough can pass. She’s a finicky kid. When my niece met me, every hat I wore got bitten and drooled on when she was a baby, but not when it was sitting on a counter. Kids are weird.
Usually because whenever they’re together in these comics, some s#%!’s about to go down.
EEK !
#%! – Punctuation is scary and is NEVER a good thing.
Geez, if I’d thought that was serious enough to be censored, then I would’ve censored myself….. f***.
Actual LETTERS are OK with me.
It is those !(%^@#)_:{?< things that are EVIL !
So SCARY, that throughout history none DARE give them SOUNDS.
Oh, they have NAMES, alright. But whatever SOUND they could make clearly belongs to Satan – ONLY.
shudder
Well, you can blame me. Buggle used real letters. I edited the comment to change the words to grawlix. I will actively replace certain words with grawlix. So I’m at fault. And my methods might seem odd, but trust me: certain words (and certain frequencies of certain words) trigger a certain censoring bot connected to the advertising provider and said bot can either shut your ads down or lower your ad value. In other words, the words used on my site can seriously impact the amount of money I make from my site. I sadly don’t make much to begin with, but I don’t want to take a further bite out of that.
Thus, I will censor indiscriminately.
Oh noes! I will try to censor myself in future, that your family may continue to afford shoes.
Actually, Gecko, that’s good to know! I will try to curb myself in the future whenever I feel the need to …puctuate
Well, I don’t expect everyone to self-edit. I’ll edit for them!
Hmmm. Why does Miranda never look happy? A good question. Maybe it’s because (in my opinion) babies seldom look happy until after the one year point. They tend to only smile when others smile at them. And for some reason, it just feels funnier to me. If that makes sense.
Money: is there any relationship it can’t screw up?
Smaug’s love of himself.
I used to be married to a woman like that – Beautiful, but self-absorbed with no sense of the value of money.
Key words: Used to be.
A dangerous combination. Though I’ve seen many men and women who behave like this, and I don’t think they have no sense of the value of money. Rather, they know exactly what money is worth, and they think they are worth that, above all others. Selfish people unfortunately abound.
Those are the same people who think they ‘deserve’ to be at the front of the line; in traffic, in store and in life.
Any woman who can’t figure out how to get the money for a really cute pair of shoes is unworthy of her extra “X” chromosome
Well then, where do I turn in my Woman Card?
Credit desk at Macy’s or Nieman’s, your choice
Sometimes you really scare me, Susan…
Good. *Bleeah!*
Why does she scare you?
because I already know that the money she finds for those shoes was in my wallet and was my lunch money for the month….
Wait! Money-finding skills aren’t a womanly talent – they’re a thieve’s talent! Susan’s a pickpocket!
Naw, I just wait til I send him to sleep and take what I want out of his billfold. Men are so easy
I never wear shoes, but if you have but TWO FEET, I suppose you must do SOMETHING to make up for it.
Well, Mr. Smugness-Pants, (for I’m sure that’s what your owners *really* named you) good luck with getting broken glass out of your paws, with those opposable thumbs you don’t have.
Janet and Baldie actually call me “Dooley”, NOT “Drooley”, despite my unfortunate condition.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
(and they don’t own me – they are MY pets)
Oh yeah? Well when your “kibbles” down there disappear one day, then I’m sure you won’t blame your “pets.”
Baldie is WAY too cheap to fork over the going rate for THAT procedure !
Aha! So you admit he technically has control over whether that happens!
Cruel, Cruel Buggleses. Wicked, Tricksy, False !
*Wonders when SalemCat started channeling Gollum*
Just for that comment, I think.
And yes, SalemCat, MUAHAHAHA, you walked right into that one.
Gollum gave me a spare fishee once.
I like him.
(spoiler – he actually escaped from Mt Doom. I was hiding below the cliff, tossed him a line, and then we threw in a straw dummy to “die”. And you guys all bought it ! snicker)
Hey, well I’ll be dipped.
I’d nearly forgotten about my old pal.
He is actually living in Hamilton now, just a few doors down from Puck (and the Crack Dealer). He says the neighborhood fits him to a “T”. Just kind of people.
Here he is:
//www.puckcomics.com/?comic=puck-162
He’s in the first panel, in the tiny space between Phoebe’s right elbow and her waist. And in the second panel lurking just behind the corner.
Hard to see, I know. Gollum may be centuries old, but he’s still as tricksy as ever.
I’ve got a standing invite to visit him. Maybe over the Holidays ?
True Story (maybe)
The famous Ring was just a plastic premium Gollum found years ago in a CrackerJack Box. It wasn’t much, but he was so poor that he found “Precious” even the smallest things.
In fact, as he tells it, he was living on a shoestring – yeah, literally. An old shoestring was all he had to eat ! Sad.
Long afterwards, while mousing, I first met him. We were engaged in battle over a small vole, but when I saw how scraggled he was, I felt pity, and relented.
As he feasted on the morsel, we got to talking, and as it turns out he had no idea that the fishees that teemed in his cavern could be eaten !
I showed Gollum how to catch them, and oh man, he soon excelled at it. Put on a few pounds, even shared them fishees with me. Nice guy, really.
Much later, our old gang was gathered in Brie, at the Green Dragon, pounding down the brewskies.
Everyone was there: Myself, Gollum, Aragorn, Gandalf (known as Mel to his friends), Azrael, Gargamel, Bambi – the whole crew.
Oh the tales we told ! Bilbo was on yet another tear concerning his idiot nephew, Frodo – that kid was a dunce and a half.
Anyhow, Mel, who was always the most clever of us, had a brainstorm. He suggested we borrow “The Precious”, and pretend it was enchanted, and see if “Frodo the Dim” would bite.
OMG ! As the prank progressed everyone wanted in. Before it was over we had Frodo traipsing over half the Continent ! It was killer.
For a while even Sauron, who owned a large Catnip Operation south of the border, got into it (man, I never saw that dude when he WASN’T high).
Anyhow, we finally grew tired of it all, and faked Gollum’s Death to sew it up.
Time passed, and a nice fella in the UK, who fancied himself a writer, but just couldn’t get published, got wind of the prank, and asked if he could claim the tale and turn it into a potboiler for himself.
We said sure, man, knock yourself out.
Well, long story short, The Lord of The Rings was an enormous success, and especially after the movies the royalties just poured in.
Gollum was especially lucky. Few people know that at first George Clooney was cast for his character. But GC just couldn’t pull off eating raw, wriggling fish whole. Though he sure tried.
So they looked at having the original Gollum act the part, and damn, after a few hair plugs he was perfect !
Most of us just frittered away the bucks, but Gollum, he was one thrifty fella, and has been buying Real Estate all over Canada.
Says the country brings back fond memories – being cold, wet, and dark most of the year – just like his old cave.
Good Times, Good Times.
(he’s getting married soon – I wish I could recall the lucky lady’s name)
*applause*
That, I must admit, was inspired, my feline friend!
Fresh tuna, and Greenies for desert!
Many Thanks.
All the talented and kind folk here inspired me.
Purrr…..
DAYUM I didn’t know you post something that long.
Heck, I wondered when I started reading posts that long. Oh, right, I didn’t
Hmmn, two critics – saying the same thing – with posts separated by only two minutes.
Do you have a psychic bond going on ?
’cause that would be really cool !
If we did, I’d probably scream.
“Probably?”
OMG
OMG
I “think” Gollum mentioned something about dating some FEE-BEE.
I could be wrong – could be so very wrong.
On the other hand….
So when does she start dressing Miranda up in foofy dresses and telling Daphne she should act more feminine?
That would require her to be an invested parent. So probably never.
She seems invested enough in Miranda…
True. Although that may change, now that she has blonde hair to invest in.
The HORROR!
I love how Miranda is just hiding in her daddy’s shoulder until the strange lady goes away.
Attention to detail! Sometimes I’m doing it.
Wait, is she borrowing even more money from Phoebe to afford this? IS PHOEBE AN ENABLER?!
Phoebe is a saviour AND an enabler. Simultaneously.
And sexy.
Talkin’ about Satan’s woman *and* his daughter that way? You better make good use of those nine lives of yours.
The women in Satan’s life (Mel to his friends), all hail from the “Mirror Mirror on the Wall” side of the Tracks.
They adore being lusted after, and only take real offense at those who do not.
So I’m perfectly safe.
(they may even have some “Baby Seal Eye Jelly” saved for me when I get a bad hairball)
//www.puckcomics.com/?comic=puck-222
Did you know they adopted me once ? If was too brief an episode to even make it into a Puck 4-Panel.
But Mel & Tracee really liked me, and even trusted me enough to assign me to a Secret Mission, then opened the back door and shooed me out.
They never told me just what it entails, but when I ask I am assured I am doing just fine, and they’ll let me know when it is over.
It is apparently a rather extended mission…..
Satan would never go by ‘Mel.’ Ever.
“Satan would never go by ‘Mel.’ Ever.”
WELL
Either Satan was messin’ with me, or you’re not as cozy with “His High Evilness” (//www.puckcomics.com/?comic=puck-17) as you think you are !
Consider, has my “Ignoble Master” (//www.puckcomics.com/?comic=puck-49) ever fed YOU tuna ? Thought not.
In interest of full disclosure, Mel did not give offer me tuna either.
He and Tracee had saved some extra-special treat for me – it came in a box labelled “Coco-Puffs”. The puffs tasted unlike any kibbles I’ve ever eaten, but I gobbled them up just to be polite. The flavor nearly drove me CUCKOO.
Afterwards I was glad I ate the awful things, ’cause Satan and Tracee were smiling and laughing.
They really are so nice.
Well I meant you would get destroyed by Satan….
I think I can see the newsprint on Colin’s nose from his use of questionable nose tissues…
…Where?
Just on the lower edge. Or maybe it’s the resolution of this monitor screen…
I think that’s the shadow of his nose…
I just noticed! this is comic 360! does that mean we’ve come around full circle?
***Ducks behind desk to avoid everything that gets thrown at him***
Well, it’s comic 365 that finally, FINALLY provides at least one Puck comic for every day of the year. I think that’s more significant. Even though there were a bunch that didn’t have numbers, so really we’re at least at 365 already, so CELEBRATE!
I thought that said “celibate…”
Celibate? in THIS Strip?????
well, Daphne, and I suppose Tyler (although he’s not by choice).
PHOEBE too – sigh.
Her date with Mitch Connors did not pan out
//www.puckcomics.com/?comic=puck-74
oh funk….
She probably has a lot of one-night stands that we don’t have the pleasure of seeing…
Why do they call it “stand” which would imply VERTICAL, when it is more likely something HORIZONTAL ?
I just do not get humans.
I can assure you, SalemCat… Vertical works just fine!
As a Cat, I am baffled.
But, you guys, you guys (wink)
Phoebe is nothing if not particular concerning FASHION.
She dumped poor MITCH because he wore a Tuque.
I, for one, would like to see what a man who met her high standards looks like.
How-evah,
Those of you that are Patreons can see who I’m betting is the MAIN MAN (or something) in our gal Phoebe’s life !
(here comes the bride)
Plus I may have been banned by your bot for using Phoebe’s favorite expletive.
Cat is in a PANIC !
This will help, Salem. *tosses “mousy” the chewtoy in the air*
That’s kinda’ fun ! (bat bat bat)
Panic Mode terminated.
Nap Mode initiated.
When does the thread begin where Tyler has eyes for a new Gal Pal ?
Her name is TAFFY, and unlike Daphne, she is very “SWEET”.
Hilarity ensues.
(SalemCat: FanFic at its very wurst since 2014)
Y’know, I hope it’s just his nose he’s wiping with old newspaper. That and Kleenex would really clog the old toilet up…
I’m going to require some sort of Star Trek Vulcan MIND-WIPE before this thread ends.
That WAS the joke in the first draft, but I thought it was too obvious. Plus I’ve made similar jokes before. So keepin’ it fresh!
Unfair !
It easy to be two steps ahead of me when you’re a Humungous Blue Lizard with LIGHTNING POWER.
Heck, Lizards don’t use TP either. Or do they ?
LOL she’s morphing into Colin’s hot but snooty sister! I thought for sure he’d say that.
I’m cracking up at the baby’s expression…so genuine.
He DOES say that … in the alternate version of this comic which I posted on Patreon. So your instincts are right on.
Patreon-izing Puck is the most entertainment your buck can buy !